Inception of an “I Hate You Story”- An idea that is a virus

In the new film Inception’s opening  monologue ,Leonardo DiCaprio’s protagonist, Dom Cobb,  posits that the  most-dangerous and resilient virus on the planet is a single idea. A sibling ” I Hate You” story  is a virus the can infect your mind, your whole family and generations of kin. Do you have a blood- sibling, half -sibling or step-sibling “I Hate You” story?

Let’s look at some red flags to this sibling and family virus.

The first red flag which points to an “I Hate You” story is that you repeat this brother or sister story over and over.  You may , like DiCaprio’s  character in Inception, keep repeating it in your mind or aloud  to others . Perhaps a parent or another sibling  then repeats the story, like a spreading virus , causing you to think about the events again and again.  The “I Hate You” story has infected your mind then your whole family.

If you recount the same bitter, sibling tale time and time again, you do not have a memory disorder. All your memories are right there in your brain, but some of them are very miserable recollections.

Research tells us that siblings who are quite angry with another sibling and have intense critical feelings about them usually have a  deep fixation on their relationship, like DiCaprio’s character has with his dead , dreamed wife.  This is the first red flag to an “ I Hate You Story”.

About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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