Telling Your Sibling “I Hate You” Story to Someone Else

If you have a sibling I Hate You Story and wrote it down, you have begun the process of intention- to change that “ I Hate You story” and reestablish your sibling relationship. Intention started with writing down what happened between your sibling in the past. If you decide to do something, your chances of doing it are doubled if you say your goal out loud to someone else. That’s the power of intention.
So your second step is to choose a close friend or family member whom you really trust and who would gladly hear your sibling, I Hate You ,story
When choosing a person with whom to share your “I Hate You” story, look for a friend or family member who has these qualities:
• You trust them.
• The person respects you.
• He or she will allow you to tell your story without interrupting.
• The person is a good listener.
• She or he is adult and will treat you like an adult.
• The person is willing to listen to your story without giving you advice.
• A caring parent or counselor if the person telling the story to you is a younger child or teen.
• A counselor if your I Hate You Story involves violence
After you have chosen this friend or family member, contact the person and go over this list of qualities and what you will request when you tell your story. Ask if you could meet in private to tell your hurtful story to him or her. Make arrangements to get together within the following week if possible. Tell the person that although this is a first baby step toward forgiving your sibling, it is an important step. When you meet, bring your handwritten story. You may read it or just tell it to this trusted person, just as you may tell it to yourself over and over again.
After you tell your story, you are ready for our next step, which is to bring you out of the past into the present and take care of yourself. Forgiveness starts with you, so here is how to move from past to present and find ways to soothe your hurt in the present.


About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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