Spending Holidays With a Remade Family

Are you negotiating where an aging Mom or Dad spends Christmas or Hanukah . Are you dreading celebrating the holidays with a remote, remade family .
During midlife in the twenty-first century, not only do we frequently get divorced and remarried, but lots of our parents did before us. In the family dissolution, we may have acquired stepsiblings as young kids . On top of that we may have gained unexpected stepsiblings through a parent’s unforeseen late-life marriage. Those late-life unions can be a brand new rash of stepsiblings, introduced in your middle age. You do not have to share your bedroom with them, as stepsiblings must in childhood, but you may be forced to interact through the exploding family web.
When you and your old or new step-siblings see each other at this month’s family holiday feats, you might plan to do your best to avoid your non blood brother or sister. You may have been thinking you should do something about the negativity but are unsure what.
Remember it is a ritual event not a therapy session –
Be the peanut butter and not the oozing blood red jelly. If you’ve have unhealed family issues , make a future date to work them out. Spewing your pent-up feelings during the holiday dinner is not the best way move towards forgiveness .Stay with the yuletide or Hanukah spirit make a future date to deal with your step sibling issues.
What you can do is consider forgiveness as a New Year’s goal . Watch my You Tube series on siblings, Mom Loves You Best http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXfoQcR5y3c and help move towards that aspiration.


About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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