Sibling issues aren’t just for siblings and parents on the holidays . Try being a stepgrandparent.
Christmas Day may find you giving gifts as a step grandparent. Blending families means multiple parents, two houses, and myriad grandparents .
Each kid has a divorced Mom and Dad plus their newly remarried mother and father. Each set of children will spend Christmas twice- once with their divorced father and once with their divorced mother but in different houses . It is worthy of an excel spread sheet.
Merging families means blending rituals . If one family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve and the other Christmas day -it’s a clash of cultures
Blood grandkids can spend Christmas morning with their blood dad or mom or step mom or dad or some combination of all. New step grandparents need to have to have the same schedule.
If step grandchildren are teens, time with friends and boyfriends must be allowed. So getting all children- blood and step – gathering with their blended parents and two sets of grandparents on Christmas Day or evening is a challenge. The complications are myriad . The shores treacherous.
The evening takes a genogram to map.
Step grandparents have to be assume the supportive role to shore up our adult children and grandchildren, both blood and step .
You need to be anchors to this rebuilt ship.
On the bright side , in the exponentially exploding numbers you might have multiple piles of gifts , for the grandchildren . If you love to give this answers a deep need on the holiday and all year round
If you are a step grandparents-look at yourself a gift this Christmas. Stay steady, stay married if you are , stay the same grandmother or grandfather , the same steady presence.
Be the counterpoint to incredible change .
You have to be the background, the supporting cast, the backstage crew that helps the play go on. For the new cast members, you are the green room, the welcoming place for the nervous and many times damaged – new stars .
To find out more about step grandparents on the holidays watch my You Tube segment on holiday hell- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cXfoQcR5y3c