Avoid Sibling Rivalry- Don’t Compare Siblings

 

Do you want your kids to grow up without sibling rivalry?

In my new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships,  I use two middle-aged brothers named Mike and Daryl. Now in their 50’s they are embroiled in midlife siblings wars. Where did it start? Their mother and dad compared the brothers from almost day one. Constantly pitting the two kids against each other, their mom and Dad, crowed that Mike got his first tooth first, walked earlier, and was smarter in school than Daryl. As the second child and never feeling he was the “ favorite”, Daryl, was filled with green-eyed with jealousy towards his brother that lasted a lifetime

The boys were out to hurt each other and battled over everything from the TV to who sat in the front seat while Dad drove to the dump. They slugged it out many a day usually till Daryl cried. As the jealous second son, Daryl was at war with Mike half his childhood. Now that they are adults, when he learns that Mike bought a new Ford Super Duty 250 truck, Daryl wants to barge into the dealership and pick up a Super Duty 350.

As midlife siblings, when Daryl saw Mike he was friendly but always felt strain. Deep down inside these feelings of sibling rivalry sprung from comparisons the parents made when they were little. If you want to avoid Mike and Daryl’s fate for your kids, don’t pit one child against the other.

 

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About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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