Sibling Rivalry Delivered With New baby-Ways to a Safe Birth

 

Are you are Gen X parent who is expecting a new baby and wants to avoid sibling rivalry ?  Do you already have a new child and your kids are feeling miserably neglected?

 

Do parental sibling marketing to each of your others kids to blunt jealousy of the new baby.

 

If a new baby arrives, work hard to sell self-worth to each sibling of the new arrival. Encourage harmony among all the siblings, who are no longer that special baby and probably don’t feel very feel there’s enough love to spread around in the overflowing family nest. Pay attention to the role the new baby has taken in your family.

2011 parents Glenda and Oscar were so consumed with tending the baby and earning enough money to pay the bills in the rotten economy, they had little time to make their other kids Jinx and Fess adjust to a third child draining their parent’s attention.

In fact Jinx felt like she was the least favorite child now that her equestrian lessons were ended because of the tight times and empty family budget. Having new baby Snookie arrive, and become the star of the family, made Fess and Jinx feel like Neptune and Pluto compared to the shining Venus of Snookie.

One critical step- involve Dad’s more. Young dad Oscar also helped to create a positive environment when he started to commit to doing more care of Snookie himself. His paternal involvement allowed Glenda to spend more time with Jinx, who was really careworn after she had to give up expensive equestrian lessons. Glenda went to Jinx’s guidance counselor and found cheaper after-school activities. Jinx had shown an interest in working backstage at the high school theater, where her best girlfriend was in the school play. The high school counselor prompted Glenda to ask Jinx if she would like to join the theater company, and Jinx said she would if she could work backstage. Glenda learned how to sew as a kid and volunteered to help the seamstress make costumes for the theater group so that she and Jinx could interact. She could do it at night after work, something she finds relaxing and just her own time. Glenda also to asked her mom and dad, who she feels help her brother’s kids more than her kids, to pay for equestrian lessons so Jinx could have the horse she loves back.

Midlife Tammy’s family raised 4 kids in the 1950s. They had no such avoid sibling rivalry rule or parenting manual to follow. They did not know that baby Tammy would have such a negative effect on Paula and their other three children as they grew up, creating a deep “I Hate You” story in Paula – spun from losing her specialness after baby Tammy was born. Paula had been the baby, and Tammy took that away.

We cannot go back and change the past nor go forward to alter the future. But we can alter the present so young parents can learn from the thirty-five-year-old resentments, encapsulated in an “I Hate You” story that Paula kept repeating in her head from the day Tammy was born.

So with the advent of a new baby or even a new stepchild, make sure you spread love evenly and show each sibling that he or she is special and important. This parental marketing will pay off in big dividends in the now and in the future by preventing a sibling  “I Hate You” story many decades down the line and imperiling

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About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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