No April Fool’s- Young Parents Need To Ditch Sib Gender Bias


No April Fools – Gen X Parents – you need to help your daughters grow up without a chip on their shoulder about boys getting more than the girls.   .Teach siblings to be fair genderwise by the way you the parent treat boys and girls. Doing this will show your kids that they are equal and avoid a future “ I hate you “ story over gender

Ginger and Bobby’s sibling trouble started when they were kids in the 1950’s.  Their parents favored Bobby over Ginger because he was the son. This was something that many generations before Bobby and Ginger made rules about. Their Mom and Dad learned this gender bias from their parents and grandparents before them.

Ginger had an “ I Hate You Story” about her brother that lasted till she was 40 years old. In midlife as the sole caregiver for their aging Mom, she was finally able to her story to her brother because finally had an intention to change her relationship with him.

But Ginger was able to double her rewards. She also created a new intention to change the rules in her own family as a mom. She and her husband committed to treating their three children equally. After taking care of herself through healthy activities to improve her own self-esteem, she also changed the way she parented her own daughters and son genderwise.

Ginger inventoried her judgments about her own two daughters and son and decided to dust out the murky corners of her own sexual bias. She rubbed out her parents’ rule that only girls do housework, and now Ginger’s son and daughters do the same number of chores after school. Her older daughter excelled in biology, and Ginger and her husband paid for her to attend a local university science camp set up to encourage girls to choose a career in that field.

Her younger daughter was a whiz in school woodshop. Ginger’s husband owned a construction company, so rather than box their daughter in a stereotypic female role, Ginger and her husband felt clear-eyed about their daughter’s entrance into what was a boy’s world. Finally all her kids were encouraged to go to college, and Ginger and her husband promoted higher education for all.

Ginger has moved from the negative past to a positive present by focusing equally on her daughters and son. She altered her family pattern so that her children would not repeat the past, and then recycle it to yet a newer generation, creating a never-ending dysfunctional loop.

She has done all this plus told her brother “I Hate You” story


About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
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