Judy Garland and Johnny Depp as Edward Scissorhands face the Holidays

I was born when my World War II father was in Stalag 17 . My mother’s favorite holiday song was “ I’ll Be Home for Christmas “ .When I hear Judy Garland sing this, I still cry.

“Meet Me in St Louis” an iconic Christmas film , was the top pick from NPR holiday movies last year.

The film’s modern holiday carol, warbles through a Christmas scene when tragedy is about to strike. It’s 1903, the St. Louis World’s Fair was about to open,  just as Garland and three Smith sisters were about to move to New York — a relocation all the siblings dreaded .

Johnny Depp is another victim of Christmas, as mutant  Edward Scissorhands,  a Frankenstein fictive sibling. On Christmas Eve ,the mutant blade- fingered Depp almost fits in with his adoptive family, including sister Winona Rider,  then misery strikes

For many of us the family road home for the holidays is very  rutty and for some the path has gaping potholes. It can remind us of  conflicts  we had  between our siblings as kids  that  ruptured our relationship. Because the damage done by a sister or brother years ago there  can be  a deep gash in our mind  sometimes it never heals. In fact, that old wound from a sibling may still fester and ooze enough to lead us to say we believe we don’t want to see the family on the holidays..

We feel we hate our siblings for many different reasons. The chief complaint that lurks in our mind is that Mom or Dad favored them over us. She got the new prom dress for her high school celebration, and a few years later we ended up with her hand-me-down.. Dad sent him to a great four-year college, and we were sent to a community college near home. She was the baby so got to grow up with late curfews and loose rules, when Mom and Dad were unbearably strict with the rest of us. He was the oldest and Mom needed him to take care of the bunch of us, so she let him boss us around. He was the stepsibling who moved in and took over half our room.

That can all come back again  with Christmas gifts that don’t seem fair-once again .      Whatever happened it can all come back over the holidays and then some.

Check out these iconic holiday  films and see if they either prepare you for the festive gathering or make you feel better after the annual family breakdown.

Also check out forgivenss  so that maybe  this holiday season and the next your siblings and you can celebrate without the fears of Edward Scissorhands or the poor doomed Judy Garland .

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About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
This entry was posted in fictive sibling, Holiday with siblings, holidays, Step Siblings, Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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