Do You Want Your Twins Siblings To Be a Zerox or Original Copy?

The New York Times article Two People One Identity, featured identical twins Nate and Kirk Muller who have made themselves lucrative media novas, by capitalizing on their sameness, twiness, parallel plaidness and being, as Gawker called them, the “twinliest twins alive”.

Twins Kristina and Karissa Shannon  were the playboy identical favorites aging fetish of Hugh Hefner. But the Olsen, twins, of Full House fame- and most twins- do not want to merge their personas and make slip -strike shift under their other twins’ identity. They want their own individual personalities. This is warbled in Olsen twins “ Identical Twin “lyrics- ”  I am not a zerox or a clone.

Every parent is tasked with guiding their children as they grown into individuals. Where parents of twins face an extra challenge is in helping their children become individuals in spite of — and in support of — their status as a multiple. Despite parents’ best efforts to treat their twins as individuals, to avoid comparisons and labeling, it’s a constant fight to fend off society’s views. Twins face a barrage of stereotypes and are constantly confronted with comparisons because of their twinship. Their friends, neighbors, teachers and even well-meaning family members will attempt to label and categorize them. (She’s the good twin, the smart twin, the pretty twin… If one likes baseball, the other one must also… He’s outgoing, so his twin must be shy.)

Where singleton siblings often feel the sting of sibling rivalry, the effects are offset by birth order and by the passing of time. They have years (or in some cases many months) to achieve the milestones set by older siblings. For twins, the milestones are expected to be simultaneous.

Therefore, it’s very important for parents of twins to overcome the stereotypes, labeling and comparisons by offering continual guidance and encouragement to their children, supporting them as they develop as individuals within the context of their relationship as twins.

My daughter Kali, co-author of Mom Loves You Best, had twins Liam and Dylan   last April and is trying to raise them as individuals. Since the birth of twins has increased 76 % since 1980 this is something a whapping 1 out of every  30 parents today needs to consider. Do they want their twins to be a zerox or each an original copy ?

About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
This entry was posted in Parent, Raising your siblings, twins, Uncategorized, young siblings and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Do You Want Your Twins Siblings To Be a Zerox or Original Copy?

  1. Whoa! Incredibly interesting content. We’re saving the particular blog currently. Bless you!

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