“Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll still be there.” – Bridget Anderson
Sisters, usually get along through thick and thin. The Dixie Chicks Erwin sisters steadfastly stuck together, when President George Bush’s country western fans burned their CD’s. In 1993,their group was almost destroyed because third group member Natalie Maine said she was embarrassed to be from Bush’s home state Texas, voicing her opposition to the war in Iraq. What we see, is that the sibling connection, translates the similar genetic code into a creative musical splicing. Siblings have that same genetic song to sing, perhaps like the whales that sing eerily beautiful genetically coded whale songs that scientists believe are like auditory fingerprints.
This weekend my daughter Kali celebrated her twins son’s first birthday . One toddler came down with “baby strep” during the week. My other daughter Jill drove to LA to walk and soothe both babies (the twins had to be separated) help me cater the party (appetizers for 80), finish a mural Jill had painted in the twins room and get up at night with Liam and Dylan so sister Kali could sleep.
Women are hardwired to share and support , just like my daughter’s Jill and Kali. If you have mended your connection with your sister, you have strengthened the ties with a best friend. Women are the kin keepers of society. In middle age, they are most often the organizers of celebrations marking passages, like Liam and Dylan’s first birthday.
You and your reconnected sister can support each other to put in order the myriad details of midlife rituals, like christenings, weddings, and retirement. Genealogy becomes more important in midlife as you reach back to find your roots. Sisters are frequently the creators of lineage charts, and together you can spend endless hours following the branches of the family tree.
Midlife men benefit from sisters as well. Researchers have found that men in middle years have a greater sense of psychological assurance if they have a sister. So if a brother and sister were estranged, a replaced bond allows that brother to be happier in middle and old age. Why is this true? Women have a deeper emotional landscape in their brains and naturally work together in groups. Having a sister creates a better chance for a brother to be brought into all the family activities of middle age, often orchestrated by sisters. All those midlife ceremonies usually have a sister as the event planner, and she will include the newly befriended brother in her plans.
If you have twins, have a sister. If you and your sister are alienated, think of forging forgiveness. You will need her- the rest of your life.