At least once a year siblings violently hurts a brother or sister .
- 42% of all children kicked, bit, or punched a sibling.
- 40% hit with an object.
- 16 % beat up another.
- 0.8% threatened with a knife or gun.
- 0.3% used a knife or gun.
The sibling relationship is the most violent relationship of all human bonds , according to”Behind Closed Doors,” a groundbreaking national study of family violence,
Although the lowest violence scores tended to be among brother/sister sibling pairs, sisters do abuse brothers. The National Family Violence Survey found that boys in the severe violence categories were more violent towards their siblings-but the difference between boys and girls was not a huge gulch. In the study violence among boy siblings boys rated 59% of the violence against siblings. Surprise- violence among girls’ siblings was a close -46%
In overall violence including less severe acts, (like pushing, shoving, etc.), the difference between boys and girls was even less, (83% versus 74%). Sister sibling abuse came in a closer second.
Sisters abuse brothers, and traditional gender roles can allow this sister abuse of their brother to go unchecked by moms and dads. Researchers have found that while women are more likely to use physical aggression during disagreements, parents frequently are more upset by male aggression than female belligerence. This is true even when the abusive acts are identical (e.g., boys throwing objects during a fight is seen as a more serious transgression than girls throwing objects during a fight).
Research reports that that women’s violence as adults is more strongly correlated with aggression towards siblings during childhood. So a key as a young parents, is to stop violence among young siblings immediately.
I recently had a e mail from a psychotherapist who been working with a middle aged man . He had blistering story of emotional and physical abuse at the hands of a considerably older female sibling. The man is in the process of trying to work through what to do with this relationship He would like to make contact with others who have had a similar experience.
If you are a brother and had sister who fell in to the category of seething sibling like the bible’s Cain and Abel, can you please comments about blogs you know of or groups you joined to recover from this abuse. I would be very grateful.