Do you have kids/twins who are sick? Have a Sister

Is solace anywhere more comforting than in the arms of a sister?  ~Alice Walker

Last week my daughter Kali   twin son’s  came down with foot mouth and hand disease   Their nanny went to a family wedding in Maryland. Now one twin just came down with an ear infection last night. On top of that their dogs were both sprayed by skunks last night requiring bathing the animals in a noxious mixture to get rid of the smell. What to do? Have a sister.

My other daughter  ( who is Kali’s half sibling)flew  to LA last night to walk and soothe both babies (the twins have to be separated) and get up at night with Liam and Dylan so sister Kali could sleep.

 

Women are hardwired to share and support just like my daughter’s Jill and Kali.  If you have mended your connection with your sister, you have strengthened the ties with a best friend. Women are the kin keepers of society. In middle age, they are most often the organizers of celebrations marking passages, like Liam and Dylan’s first birthday.

 

You and your reconnected sister can support each other to put in order the myriad details of midlife rituals, like christenings, weddings, and retirement. Genealogy becomes more important in midlife as you reach back to find your roots. Sisters are frequently the creators of lineage charts, and together you can spend endless hours following the branches of the family tree.

Midlife men benefit from sisters as well. Researchers have found that men in middle years have a greater sense of psychological assurance if they have a sister. So if a brother and sister were estranged, a replaced bond allows that brother to be happier in middle and old age. Why is this true? Women have a deeper emotional landscape in their brains and naturally work together in groups. Having a sister creates a better chance for a brother to be brought into all the family activities of middle age, often orchestrated by sisters. All those midlife ceremonies usually have a sister as the event planner, and she will include the newly befriended brother in her plans.

 

If you have twins, have a sister. If you and your sister are alienated, think of forging forgiveness You will need her- the rest of you

 

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About momlovesyoubest

Cathy Cress holds an MSW in Aging from U.C. Berkeley. Her new book Mom Loves You Best, Forgiving and Forging Sibling Relationships , New Horizon Press, was published October 2010. Cress’s book , Handbook of Geriatric Care Management, Jones and Bartlett, is the bible of geriatric care management and is out out in a third edition in February 2011 .Her book Care Managers, Working With the Aging Family, Jones and Bartlett,2008 is one of the few major books on the aging family. Ms. Cress is the founder of GCM Consult ,working with small and national who want to add or launch GCM businesses. She is on the faculty at the University of Florida in their on line master’s in geriatric care management -GCM . She has taught geriatric care management at San Francisco State University , UC Berkeley and teaches at Cabrillo College and San Mateo College. She was founder and director of Cresscare, a GCM business, for 25 years.
This entry was posted in Parent, Raising your siblings, sibling team, sisters, twins, young siblings and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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